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A pair of Christmas songs that we could do without December 2, 2008

Posted by markgeil in Music, You did ask - didn't you?.
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It’s Christmas music time! We have at least two radio stations in our area that have switched to an all-Christmas format. I can listen to “Christmas Shoes” practically anytime I want!!

Since you asked, here are my Bottom Two Christmas songs. I’ll cover some Top Christmas songs later, so we can end on a high note and not feel like a Scrooge.

Bottom Christmas Song Number One: (note, we’re ignoring Christmas Shoes since I already sarcastically bashed it above) The Twelve Days of Christmas

Think about the premise for a moment. The whole song is about getting stuff. It’s obscure stuff that no one has ever actually gotten. It’s much too mentally taxing to try to remember which stuff belongs on which day. And if that’s not enough, you have to repeat the stuff ad nauseum, so the song takes about 8 minutes to sing. The only redeeming qualities of this song are two delightful cover versions: the Muppets, and Bob and Doug McKenzie (“Four pounds of back-bacon”).

Bottom Christmas Song Number Two: We Wish You a Merry Christmas

 A delightful sentiment, to be sure, but again with the repetition! And when we’re done repeating the same line over and over, we get to the verses. Everyone sings a slightly different version, so no group can sing this song all together. You eventually plod along to the last verses when, against your will, you have to start whining about something called “Figgy Pudding”. I’m a fan of pudding in general, and I’m a fan of Fig Newtons, but I think I’ll pass on the figgy pudding. The whining reaches a violent crescendo in the following verse. Nothing speaks Christmas love and peace and cheer like shouting, “We won’t go until we get some, so bring it right here!” And this is somehow a Christmas caroling staple. People actually go to strangers’ doors and start demanding their figgy pudding, even threatening figgy filibusters. Stop the madness!

Stay tuned for my favorites. I really do love Christmas, and there are some truly wonderful Christmas songs. Just not those two.

In the meantime, add to my list, if you so desire.

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Comments»

1. SadieSadie - December 2, 2008

Christmas Shoes is definitley my least favorite Christmas song. I realize it’s very sentimental and touching, but I just can’t stand to listen to it even for a second. My 2nd least favorite is “Santa Baby” the Madonna version.

2. Mike - December 2, 2008

Got to admit, you make some good points!

Figgy pudding doesn’t sound quite ready for prime time, does it? Figgish pudding? Not sure what’s in there, but it tastes a bit figgy/ish.

There are some great carols out there.

http://SingWeNow.net is now set up for people to list caroling and choral music events for the season.

We want to encourage more caroling all over!

Merry Christmas

3. markgeil - December 9, 2008

Santa Baby is certainly my least favorite track on “A Very Special Christmas”, which I only have on vinyl, which is somehow fitting for my annual listens to “Christmas in Hollis”.

I did forget one other good version of the Twelve Days, by Relient K, with this memorable chorus: “What’s a partridge? What’s a pear tree? I don’t know so please don’t ask me. But I can bet those are terrible gifts to get.” Add the fact that the song is done at about 180 beats per minute, and you’ve got a decent tune.

4. Dave Sloan - December 28, 2008

I’d normally agree with you on “Santa Baby”, but with the passing of Eartha Kitt this weekend I’ll abstain for now.

The songs that I could live without:

Here We Come A Wassailing-
“We are not daily beggars
That beg from door to door;
But we are neighbours’ children,
Whom you have seen before.
Call up the butler of this house,
Put on his golden ring.
Let him bring us up a glass of beer,
And better we shall sing”

I hope most people would agree that giving beer to the neighbor children is not only not a good idea, but a good way to get arrested.

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus-the Jackson 5 version (although I don’t know if I can blame the song, just about anything by Michael Jackson makes me want to change the channel)


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