When Software Attacks! March 31, 2009
Posted by markgeil in Philosophical musings.1 comment so far
In preparation for tomorrow’s infamous “April Fool’s Day Computer Worm”, a bit of software levity.
I got a new voice recorder in preparation for my many many interviews at GMA week, and I had to install the software that lets me download the recordings. On a whim, I glanced through the “License Agreement” that everyone has to agree to but no one ever actually reads. Seriously, they could list their right to your firstborn child and you would happily agree.
Here’s what I found in Sony’s license agreement for Digital Voice Editor:
“HIGH RISK ACTIVITIES
The SOFTWARE is not fault-tolerant and is not designed, manufactured or intended for use or resale as on-line control equipment in hazardous environments requiring fail-safe performance, such as in the operation of nuclear facilities, aircraft navigation or communication systems, air traffic control, direct life support machines, or weapons systems, in which the failure of the SOFTWARE could lead to death, personal injury, or severe physical or environmental damage.”
So, if I get this straight, Sony’s lawyers are sitting around a table (a large, walnut conference room table, methinks), discussing what calamities might befall them if someone misuses this software. Lawyer 1 says, “What does this software do again?”
Lawyer 2 replies, “It downloads voice recordings from a little voice recorder thing.”
Lawyer 1 is shocked, and says, “Whereas! Be it resolved!” (Lawyers talk like that.) “What if someone uses it to operate nuclear weapons systems? We could be sued!”
Well, I agreed to Sony’s limitation, and I can no longer use this software to start WWIII.
Makes me think of that computer in WarGames: “Shall we play a game?”
And just in case you were worried, thinking, ”Sure, Mark, YOU might not start WWIII with your recorder software, but what about THE FRENCH!”
Fear not. The warning was repeated, in French:
“à l’utilisation ou à la revente à titre de matériel de contrôle électronique dans les environnements dangereux nécessitant une performance à sécurité absolue, comme le fonctionnement des installations nucléaires.”
The Day After the Concert March 30, 2009
Posted by markgeil in Compassion.Tags: Shaun Groves
1 comment so far
Well, as you know, it wasn’t a concert, but a church service — three of them, in fact — and all went so very well during Shaun and Ben’s visit. (Shaun’s and Ben’s? The grammar snob is flummoxed.)
When you plan an event you know wrinkles will happen, and the first little wrinkle happened when my cell phone rang at about 4:00 on Saturday. My cell phone never rings because so few people know the number, so I had an inkling about the imminent wrinkling. (HA! I totally just made up that rhyme. I should be a gangsta rapper like Rebekah.) Sure enough, it was Ben, calling from the hotel I had reserved to say the hotel had no rooms available. I told him I’d make some calls and get back to him. My first call was to manager of said hotel, who had assured me this wouldn’t happen. When he didn’t answer, I started calling nearby hotels when Ben called back. Turns out said manager remembered our conversation and worked something out. Whew!
Later that evening we met Shaun and Ben and another family for dinner at Pappasito’s. I’m pretty sure ATL has the only Pappasito’s outside of Texas, and every musician I’ve ever worked with from anywhere near Texas just hasto go to Pappasito’s while they’re here. This was my first visit, and now I see what all the fuss is about. It was muchas delicioso. (I’m multilingual.) Good food and good conversation about the Christian music industry, Compassion, and life in general.
I got to church around 7:00 Sunday morning and started setting up. Compassion shipped these nifty displays, so we had a downright lovely table in our foyer. Shaun and Ben arrived at 7:30, in slow gear but with lots to set up, such as sound and microphones and instruments and Compassion volunteer training and cables and such.
I ran the projection, and that was the very last detail we got to. About 3 minutes before the first service, Ben gave me a huge file containing all the possible songs Shaun would do, Shaun gave me a general order of songs, and off we went. I had to listen to the first notes of each song, find that song in the massive file, then project it before the first notes were sung. I was a like PowerPoint superhero. They could have made one of those movies about me in which a person with an obscure ability is called on to save the world. Like you know when that asteroid was going to destroy the planet and they needed the world’s best deep drill oil rig guys to destroy it, the ones who looked just like Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck? That was me. It would be like the aliens have infiltrated our whole world’s computers, and they’ll all display this alien message and turn us into zombies, and the only person who can stop them is someone who can project PowerPoint on the fly, under intense pressure. Nay, the world’s bestperson who can project PowerPoint. Then you’d see the federal agents come find me, except I’d look just like Robert Pattinson. Then I’d save the world over an Aerosmith soundtrack.
But enough about me saving the world from aliens. Back to Sunday. Shaun gamely proceeded through three back-to-back services and was wonderful. The point of the whole day was to get children sponsored through Compassion International and rescued from poverty. In that regard I was really unsure what to expect. There’s a point in the service in which Shaun asks people to raise their hands if they’re even remotely interested in sponsoring a child, and we get them a packet. I was genuinely nervous when he asked that question in the sleepy, small 8:30 service, but then hands started going up and I breathed again. There was an even longer pause in the more-awake-and- about-twice-the-size middle service, but then lots more hands went up. Forty-four children were sponsored in those first two services! I was thrilled, and excited to see what would happen in the wide-awake-twice-again-as-large third service. Hands up, all over the room. Packets flying. Sponsorship sheets in those packets being filled out, which is even better.
The grand total? One hundred sixteen kids rescued from poverty around the world. Praise God and thanks to the people of Summit Baptist Church.
We finally made to to lunch at about 1:00, and I realized I had been at the church for six hours. That’s a long Sunday morning! I enjoyed the lunch with most of our church staff and their families, with more good conversation about Compassion and life in general.
If you were there (or not) and are perhaps interested in sponsoring a child, please visit Compassion. If you’re a screewriter and/or Robert Pattinson or Aerosmith, call me on my cell phone.
Me as Concert Promoter March 27, 2009
Posted by markgeil in Compassion, Music.Tags: Alex Cooley, concert, Shaun Groves
2 comments
Well, not really, but I am making arrangements for Shaun Groves to lead worship and speak at our church Sunday morning. Shaun tours exclusively for Compassion International now, and he’ll be sharing the good news of rescuing children from poverty.
So, while I’m not exactly Alex Cooley, the name that adorned so many of
No, I didn't actually attend this show, but it sure looks like the ticket stubs I saved as a child!
my ticket stubs from my youth, I have enjoyed helping get Shaun here. I got to sign a contract (even though Shaun plays for free, there are still details to be sorted out) which even included a Rider. You might have heard the stories about artists’ Riders and their bizarre backstage requests. I was kinda thinking it would be fun to figure out how to provide a bowl of m&ms made in Hershey, Pa, with all the orange ones removed, chilled to 42 degrees. Alas, Shaun is the least demanding artist you’ll encounter. His ostentatious request? Four water bottles. I can swing that.
The rest of the arrangements have been equally simple. I visited a new hotel and, satisfied, filled out a form to book it for Sunday night. I explained the booking to the manager and the ministry of Compassion and he was kind enough to give me the room for half price. I edited Shaun’s stock promotional poster with our details and had a bunch printed, and then arranged to have them posted at church, at our local Christian bookstores, and at nearby Kennesaw State University. I also called a DJ friend and set up an interview that aired this afternoon, the Friday before the appearance.
I listened to the interview and oddly felt like a proud papa. The banter was lively and humorous, the listeners were reminded of what Compassion is all about, and our church got mentioned on the radio.
This evening, I got four water bottles out of the garage to put in the fridge. Tomorrow I’ll check to see that Shaun and his road manager Ben make it into town okay, and try to set up the Compassion tables at church. Then Sunday morning will start bright and early with sound checks and such.
I’ve gotten a tiny glimpse of the world of real concert promoters, and learned that there are details and responsibilities and it does take a bit of time, but the payoff is a lot of fun. For Shaun in particular, the payoff is actually a lot more than fun; it’s eternal. I’m praying that children will be sponsored on Sunday, because I know what happens in their lives when someone here finds them there and changes their world.
If you’ve got an inner concert promoter just itching to get out, visit Shaun’s blog, and you’ll see links for booking.
The Spoken Word, or, A Fist Pump for the Master March 26, 2009
Posted by markgeil in Bible.add a comment
I’m a fan of the spoken word. The written word is good too, of course, but there’s the corporate attribute of the spoken word that allows it to motivate or bore or move or prompt. We remember great speeches not only because of the words that were spoken 
but also because of the person who spoke them and the results they produced. The University of Florida was so moved by Tim Tebow’s “I’m sorry, we’ll play harder” speech from last season they put it on a plaque outside their new football building! People who read that plaque will remember the words for their own sake but they’ll also remember Tebow’s teary delivery and the call to action that resulted.
I am convinced there has never been a greater orator than the Master Himself, Jesus Christ. I had to play Jesus in a church drama once, and I was completely befuddled. In one scene, He was supposed to be tired from a long day. How does Jesus sound when He’s tired? I have no idea. Even now, though, when I read his words, I like to imagine how he phrased them, when he paused, which words he emphasized. I read his words from John 8 this morning, and got so riled up I gave a fist pump, right there in my quiet kitchen. Follow along with me as Jesus so nimbly navigates a hostile crowd with their accusatory questions:
The Jews were already a bit heated when we join the conversation at verse 48, when they level a fairly racist insult at Jesus and then declare the He’s demonic.
“I do not have a demon,” Jesus answered.
How do you think he said those words? Did he chuckle at their blind ignorance? I mean, come on – calling the very Author of love and the Creator of the universe the very polar opposite of all that he is and all that he stands for – that’s more than just short-sighted. It’s downright dirty. Maybe Jesus got a little mad, and had a tinge of anger in his voice. Or maybe he was calm, with an assured monotone that let the crowd know they would never get under his skin.
“On the contrary“, he continued, “I honor my Father and you dishonor me. I do not seek my glory; the One who seeks it also judges. I assure you: if anyone keeps my word, he will never see death – ever!“
He didn’t sugarcoat his message, and he wasn’t afraid to repeat his polarizing Good News. They continued their assault:
“Now we know you have a demon. Abraham died and so did the prophets. You say, ‘If anyone keeps my work, he will never taste death – ever!’ Are you greater than our father Abraham who died? Even the prophets died. Who do you pretend to be?”
Now, it’s easy to guess the sound of the spoken word here. The crowd was officially offended. I imagine someone spouting, “Just who do you think you are, mister?” in that snide tone with which we’re all too familiar. If I’m Jesus here, I’m tempted to look these little people in the eye and tell them, “I’ll show you who I am” and do some Star Wars force grip thing and pick them up off the ground and prove myself. But Jesus did not look upon these naïve people with derision, but with love, and he understood the danger of openly declaring his deity and his power. How can the creator of the universe be so humble as to say what he said in reply?
“If I glorify myself, my glory is nothing. My Father – you say about him, ‘He is our God’ – He is the one who glorifies me. You’ve never known him, but I know Him. If I were to say I don’t know Him, I would be a liar like you.”
Oh, snap! When you call Jesus a demon, you’re a liar, and Jesus, in a remarkably logical way, calls them out. He continues:
“But I do know Him, and I keep His word. Your father Abraham was overjoyed that he would see My day; he saw it and rejoiced.”
Now the crowd’s thinking, “Wait a second, did he just claim to know Father Abraham? THE Abraham?” After a stunned pause, the red-faced crowd started twitching, and one of them got up the nerve to ask,
“You aren’t 50 years old yet, and you’ve seen Abraham?”
And then, the reply to beat all replies. The tense-shifting eight words that give us a glimpse of what it’s like to be immortal. The invocation of the very Name of God spoken to Moses and understood by all the Jews in this crowd. The cause of my morning fist pump:
“I assure you: Before Abraham was, I am.”
Booyah!! Those were supernatural words He spoke, and another time He uttered them people fell over on their backs. I think if I was Jesus I might have even added a subtle reverb to those last two little words. The crowd got so angry they tried to stone Jesus, right then and there. The power of the spoken word to motivate, indeed.
Try this out sometime. Take a favorite passage of scripture, and read it out loud. Even if there’s no dialogue in it, read it as though you the author was presenting it as a speech or a sermon. There is unquenchable life in these words, and the more we can viscerally experience them, the more of that life we get.
New Music March 24, 2009
Posted by markgeil in Music.Tags: Hannah Montana, Israel Houghton, Martina McBride
1 comment so far
If you happen to read this post while it’s still near the top of the list, and if you’re a fan of Israel Houghton (or Martina McBride, or, dare I say it, Hannah Montana), visit:
http://music.aol.com/new-releases-full-cds/#/1
You can listen to each artist’s brand new CD, in its entirety, on the site. Check it out every week for a new set of albums. I’m enjoying Israel’s “The Power of One” today. Be sure to scroll through the CD covers to see all your choices.
Lyrics March 19, 2009
Posted by markgeil in Bible, Music, Philosophical musings.add a comment
My day job is biomechanics, not neurology, so I have a fairly simplistic view of how the brain works. In particular, I am fascinated by but not too clear on how we remember stuff. Some people have photographic memories. At the end of a day they can tell you everyone they encountered and what they were wearing. Others are great at memorizing text, like scripture. We’ve got kids at Awana who can rattle off verse after verse after verse. Not me. I struggle mightily to learn a single verse. Me? I remember song lyrics. Which, I might point out, is the least practical of these three examples! Remembering people and their names – very useful skill, good for politicians and salesmen, lets people know you really care about them. Remembering text and scripture – great for school, profound spiritual utility. Remembering lyrics – um, great for music trivia games?
It’s crazy, though. Set it to music, and I remember it. No music = no memory. I even parlayed this ability into some book learning along the way in school. I can still tell you the names of the four major islands of Japan because I set them to the tune of “My Friend the Witchdoctor.” Don’t ask. I had a satellite radio a while back, but I didn’t keep up the subscription until recently I got a letter saying they’d turned it back on for a short time. So, the last two days I’ve been rocking out to the “80’s on 8″, and freaking out about how I still know all the words to the songs. I was singing along with Men at Work yesterday, but not the ones you’re thinking about the mysterious stranger knocking at my door or the vegemite sandwich. No, I was singing along with “Overkill”!
“I can’t get to sleep / I think about the implications / of diving in too deep / and possibly the complications.”
Who knows those words, 26 years later? I’m a freak, I tell you. I laughed out loud two mornings ago when the all-synth melody of Cyndi Lauper’s “All Through the Night” came on, anticipating my wailing along with the immortal closing words of the chorus,
“Until it ends, there is no end…”
You think?
Okay, I’ll admit, I didn’t remember all the words to that song. I think I never actually knew all the words in the first place. Enunciation was never Cyndi’s strongest suit. (Look them up sometime, though. Very poetic, apart from that hokey chorus.)
Imagine me, then saddled with this almost useless ability to learn song lyrics, terrible with names, weak in scripture memory, but delighted this morning to read a verse about my very prowess, lyrics:
“Your statutes are the theme of my song during my earthly life.” Psalm 119:54 (HCSB)
Consider also this paraphrase from The Message:
“I set your instructions to music and sing them as I walk this pilgrim way.”
There is a lyric to this life, and a melody. More lyrics come to my mind (go figure), these by Michael Card:
“Life is a song we must sing with our days / A poem with meaning more than words can say / A painting with colors no rainbow can tell / A lyric that rhymes either Heaven or Hell.”
Life is a song. Can you hear it? If you listen carefully, you’ll notice the rhythmic cadence to the everyday, and the occasional flourish that breaks the pattern. You’ll hear the words. Sometimes it’s a sad song, and sometimes it’s a celebratory romp. If you listen to the Psalmist, those lyrics in the song of life might also be the very statutes of God.
I’m convinced that yes, we live in amazing grace, and yes, we all fall short of the glory of God, but we too often forget that the great secret of abundant life is obedience to God’s statutes and precepts and instructions. I simply must make His rules the lyrics of the song of my life, and then I’ll hear a sweeter melody than I ever imagined.
Maybe there’s something to remembering lyrics after all.
Who is this kid, anyway? March 12, 2009
Posted by markgeil in Family, My Gangsta Children.add a comment
I know what you’re thinking. Wow, I wouldn’t have picked Rebekah out to be a Second Grade Gangsta punk kid. Just look at the posturing, the defiance. Imagine the troubled future that awaits all of us.
Then, witness the following, and understand the joyous complexity that is our youngest child. Here’s an essay she wrote about whether or not kids should get an allowance, or a reward for getting good grades in school. I’ll show you the actual paper, so you won’t think I’m making up her words:
Now, since you probably can’t read the words, behold:
“Kids should not get an allowence. Kids should already get good grades. I do my homweowrk every night. I study very hard and read books. I don’t study and read books for money. I do it to learn!
“Chores are very importent. I always do them. I clean the bathtub. I always clean my room and organize it. I help my sisters do the dishes. I make my bed and sometimes make Hannah’s. Every Sunday I do my laundry. I do my chores to help my family!
“Kids should be responsible about money. I organize my stuffed animals to make my bed look pretty. Candy is too sugery. Kids should not get allowence because they would spend it on candy. Kids should not get an alloweance.”
Preach it, Gangsta Sista! Now, to be entirely accurate, Rebekah does not always do her chores right on time, and she actually quite enjoys sugary candy. Also, she does not get an allowance, so her campaign might be born of jealousy. Regardless, it’s clear that we’re either raising the perfect child or a consummate brown-noser!
Best Video Ever? March 9, 2009
Posted by markgeil in Music, You did ask - didn't you?.Tags: A-Ha, Journey, Music Videos
1 comment so far
My favorite music video was always “Take On Me” by A-Ha. I remember being floored by the special effects, which is saying something now. To wit:
Since those younger days, I’ve come to appreciate the video that epitomizes the 80’s for many, “Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)” by Journey. It’s so comedic it’s been remade by dozens of people. I’ve posted the best remake below. Here’s what I suggest. Watch the remake first. If you’ve never seen the original, you’ll be thinking, “Well, that’s funny, but there’s no way the original was quite like that.” You’ll be wrong. Watch the original, then watch the remake again. Yes, you will have given up about 12 minutes of your life, but it will be worth it. Trust me. Revel, in particular, in:
- Steve Perry’s killer muscle shirt (I GOTTA get me one of those)
- The drummer’s strange right hand technique
- The bass guitarist “patting” the strings
- The angry keys player pounding the wall-mounted keyboard
Okay, ready? Here’s the remake:
And here, in all its glory, is the best music video ever:
First Impressions: U2 – No Line on the Horizon March 4, 2009
Posted by markgeil in Music.4 comments
Oh, what a wonderful, throwback kind of day yesterday was! I stopped on my way home from work to buy the new U2 CD, on its first day of release, went home, sat on the floor with the lyrics booklet in my hands, and immersed myself (as well as one can in a family of five).
I remember doing the very same thing one evening so many years ago, except it was a vinyl record, not a CD, called The Unforgettable Fire. It was 1984. I sat in my brother’s room, awash in sounds and words, forming first impressions that would change over time, but aware that you can only form first impressions once.
Interestingly, there are no other bands for me that elicit this “get it on release day and soak it in”. There just aren’t that many rock stars with staying power these days, for several reasons. In a world of indie bands and ubiquitous distribution, thanks to U2 for giving me one last bastion of “Event” music.
I know there are a few others like me out there, and since you can only form first impressions once, here are my first impressions of No Line on the Horizon:
Overall, more keyboards, loops, lots of killer bass, less Edge. U2 cannot sound like U2 without the Edge, and he’s certainly not absent, but his guitar is not the bedrock of this album. He seems to have had more of a hand in lyric writing, though, with outstanding results. Give me more Edge lyrics, if “Magnificent” and “White as Snow” are an indication of where he is these days.
“I’ll go crazy if I don’t go crazy tonight” quotes the “Baby, baby, baby” line from “Ultra Violet”. Could it be that that song is 17 years old?
I thought I would understand the title better having listened to the whole thing a couple of times, but I don’t. I think I’m just dumb. A little help, anyone?
The music for “White as Snow” is listed as “traditional.” It’s actually a Christmas Carol, “O Come, O Come Emmanuel.” Fun to sing the other words along with the melody and notice the differences in arrangement.
Lots of tribal “Oh, oh, oh”’s throughout, along with several periods of staccato singing/chanting – No Line, Unknown Caller, Stand Up Comedy. I like both.
There’s lots of Brian Eno in the music, but it’s not by any means the radical departure that Passengers was.
There are some wonderful lyrical moments. My favorite quotes so far:
“Justified, ’til we die, you and I will magnify The Magnificent.”
(The capital letters are not my addition; they’re straight out of the booklet. The whole song is an incredible praise chorus.)
“At the moment of surrender, of vision over visibility”
(Visibility is potential, vision is reality. The line in the context of a man looking in the two-way mirror at an ATM machine, looking at his own image, is stirring.)
“Force quit – and-move-to-trash”
(For once, somebody has put computer jargon in a symbolic context without seeming so cheesy. Remember when the boy bands tried this with lines like “I’m going to IM you on my laptop of love!”?)
“I can stand up for hope, faith, love / But while I’m getting over certainty / Stop helping God across the road like a little old lady”
(This seems to sum up the Gospel According to Bono about as well as any line ever has. He believes in love, for sure. He is uncertain about a lot of things, and maybe he still hasn’t found what he’s looking for. He has major issues with organized religion, and would like to see more tangible results in issues like global poverty. I think.)
More on that theme in:
“Once I knew there was a love divine / Then came a time when I thought it knew me not / Who can forgive forgiveness where forgiveness is not / Only the lamb as white as snow”
(Our inability to forgive one another juxtaposed with forgiveness afforded only though sacrifice of the innocent on our behalf)
I could go on and on. I think I really like this album. There is one unfortunate curse word in the last song, which saddens me because U2 has a bunch of spiritually iconic album closers, from “40″ to “Grace” to “Yahweh”.
Finally, I would like to officially submit my name to be U2’s new publicity writer. This is the beginning of the official text that was released to describe the new album: “Written and recorded in various locations, No Line On The Horizon is the group’s 12th studio album and is their first release since the 9 million selling album How to dismantle an Atomic Bomb, released in late 2004.”
Huh? That might be the worst publicity I’ve read! “Various locations”? That’s the lead? Am I supposed to think, “Well then, if they didn’t write this all in one place, then it’s gotta be legendary. I was on the fence, but now that I know they actually went to not just two locations, but various locations, I’m in!”?
